Monday is St. Patrick’s Day, a time when the good people of the world all suddenly become Irish, get together and celebrate. And by celebrate, we mean drink a lot of beer. And by beer, we mean any kind of alcohol, especially if it’s from Ireland.

But it’s not enough that we all wear green, eat Lucky Charms and buy rounds of Jameson; the real attraction of St. Paddy’s day is the camaraderie and fun we have with our fellow party-goers. Still, going to an Irish pub on the quintessential Irish holiday isn’t always that fun when everyone else is also trying to squeeze into said pub, so sometimes it’s better just to have a few friends over, cook up some shepherd’s pie and pop in a DVD or two.

The Green Ranger is pretty St. Patrick-y

That got us to thinking: what are the most clever, funny drinking games based off of popular and classic TV shows? We scoured the web for hours finding the best TV drinking rules around. We didn’t actually try them, of course, because that would have required drinking so much beer we’d pretty much be dead. Hey, that reminds us:

WE ARE NOT ENCOURAGING YOU TO PLAY ANY OF THESE GAMES. Besides the obvious fact that excessive alcohol consumption can be dangerous, showing up to work with a horrific hangover on a Tuesday morning isn’t the best look for you. And of course, don’t drink at all if you’re under 21. That said, here are some highlights from various TV drinking games we found across the web (including some Shout! Factory titles), presented for your St. Paddy’s Day enjoyment:

Breaking Bad: Take a drink any time someone says “Heisenberg,” especially if it’s in response to the command: “Say my name.”

NYPD Blue: Drink whenever a guest star dies. We’re assuming this is a tribute to their memory.

Archer: Drink any time a character has a drink in their hand. This is a lot of the time, so maybe keep it to a sip.

America’s Funniest Home Videos: Take a gulp whenever someone gets hit in the — well, you know.

The Simpsons: A drink for every “D’oh!”

Power Rangers: Drink when a Ranger makes exaggerated head movements while talking.

Game Of Thrones: Did someone draw their sword? You’re going to have to raise your glass.

Girls: Drink whenever Shoshanna makes a pop culture reference.

Mystery Science Theater 3000: Start sipping when the door countdown sequence begins.

Quincy, M.E.: Drink any time an episode ends at Danny’s Restaurant.

Walking Dead: A zombie got shot in the head? Down the hatch!

Just thinking about all these is enough to make our head spin…Forget all this drinking stuff, we’re spending St. Patrick’s Day marathoning something wholesome like Leave It To Beaver!

Have a safe and happy St. Paddy’s Day!

Maurice Molyneaux